“I’ll See You behind Bars”

“I married their stepfather when Jason was two and we moved from Arkansas to Oregon. He was a Vietnam vet diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder. The kindest, warmest man, but just that fast he turned into the most violent guy. He abused me. Destroyed me. It took me ten years to get rid of him emotionally. That man used to hit me, punch me in the nose, and even held a knife to my throat and fired a bullet into the ceiling. When I was around him, he made me feel like I was the worst human being on the face of the earth. They eventually told me he was schizophrenic. Now he’s 100 percent disabled. It’s so strange that he could be loving one minute then threaten to kill me the next. I’d never know which it would be. We haven’t seen him for several years.

“Jason swears a lot. So do I. After playing professional pool for ten years, I’m much more verbally aggressive than the average woman.”

Jason’s teachers described him as “mouthy, disruptive, and defiant.” Once the school called the police to subdue Jason during a fit of anger. The officer warned him, “I’ll see you behind bars in a few years.” He’s been written up since grade 3, and usually gets over twenty-five conduct write-ups and several suspensions a year.

When we asked Jason to help us understand his side of the story, he admitted, “I don’t like to be told what to do or to take orders. When I get mad at people, I scream at them. It’s because they boss me around.” His mother elaborated that Jason was great with younger children and older adults but quite bossy with kids his own age. “He’s usually the one running the show.”

Adventurous and fiercely independent, Jason was not one to be intimidated by anyone, regardless of their gender, size, or position of authority. Jason had exceled in kung fu, and his goal was to either join the army or become a professional football player. Questioned about any similarities between Jason and his birth father, his mom affirmed, “He was never afraid of anybody. One of his favorite expressions was, ‘I’ve shot people for less.’”

Jason scared us, like a grenade waiting to explode. The combination of his explosive temper, disregard for authority or consequences, and repeated violent threats toward his mother was alarming. The one feature that struck us most prominently about Jason was how totally fearless he was when intimidated. This led us to prescribe Agaricus (Amanita muscaria). This is a mushroom that the Siberians used to take prior to battle in order to enhance their courage, stamina, and physical prowess.

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