An Expert at Pushing the Envelope

The job description of parents is second only to that of sainthood. It is only thanks to some gene for infinite patience that they are even remotely able to cope with their really challenging kids. You will soon see that Liz was no angel. Yet her mother began our interview by calling her daughter “a wonderful child.” She understood the invaluable lesson of loving her daughter no matter how frustrated she felt with her behavior. “I get glimpses of the cherub in her, but I don’t think anyone else does.”

Liz was so sassy that she typically wore out at least three adults in a day, to the point of utter exasperation. Baby-sitters quit as quickly as her mom hired them. This eight-year-old gave new meaning to the word defiance. If asked to do anything, she flared into anger or, if you were lucky, merely replied that she was too busy. Liz’s nature was much like that of her father. Both of them displayed frequent outbursts of anger and procrastinated like crazy. A screamer, she would cover her ears if another family member talked to her in anything above a whisper. Liz was so noise-sensitive that movies were impossible. If in a crowd, she’d cover her ears and complain that they were ringing.

It all began when Liz was a baby. She was fine until she received her last set of polio and DPT immunizations as an infant, after which time she screamed for six hours straight. Doubled over in apparent pain, she banged her head against the wall, arched her back, and refused to be touched. The same day she developed a fever of 105 and watery diarrhea, she became limp, her face turned bright red, and she developed a glazed countenance. This turned into a bladder infection for which she received antibiotics. The crimson face and glazed eyes were reminiscent of her previous middle ear infections that had occurred after her previous immunizations. Another odd symptom that began only after the vaccinations was a tenderness and bleeding of her vulva.

Now, at eight, she still engaged in frequent clashes with her parents and grandmother. “It’s her way or no way on every issue,” lamented her worn-out mom. Liz’s usual responses to any demand were, “Shut up. Go away” or “Get out of my life!” Although she was never physically abusive, throwing, stomping, and slamming were commonplace. Rage described Liz’s response to just about anything, at least once a day—crying, yelling, and stamping her feet.

Liz’s mom shared a bit of her own history. “I was probably in a huge state of fear all my life. Of everything. When I was a baby, I fell. Gazing up into my father’s eyes, I saw sheer terror. At that moment I made a decision that the world was not safe. I was even scared of my mother, my brothers and sisters, of life itself. On Liz’s due date my sedan was hit by another car and I suffered whiplash. I was in a state of shock.”

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