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The Girl who Swore, Spat, and Barked

Kids needing medicines made from animals tend to be competitive, domineering, aggressive, and vivacious. Those needing plant medicines are generally more gentle, distractible, changeable, and lovers of nature. Lastly, youngsters needing mineral medicines are organized, like building and structure, and tend to want everything just so. You won’t need more than one guess to figure out which is Janie’s kingdom.

Janie, an eight-year-old redhead from Memphis diagnosed with ADHD, had tried lots of different prescription medications by the time her parents consulted us. Ritalin didn’t work, Adderall made her spacey and caused nightmares, and she became overly excitable on Wellbutrin. When we first started treating Janie, she was still taking Imipramine, which was supposed to “settle her down.” An expert at pushing her mother’s buttons, Janie purposely slammed doors and messed up the wake-up setting on her mother’s alarm clock—“lots of little things like that.”

This little girl had a very strange way of acting out her anger. She gave anyone in her vicinity the finger as she uttered, “F— you!” not just occasionally, but one hundred or so times a day. Her parents figured she did it to draw attention to herself. Then, even more oddly, she immediately apologized. Janie was kicked out of a couple of day care centers because of her foul language and need for constant attention. Yet, despite her constant outpouring of profanity, she didn’t like to watch violence on television, even violent cartoons. The only programs she was attracted to were Sabrina, about a teenage witch with magical powers, and Magical School Bus, a science program about a classroom of kids who shrink until they’re very tiny and go on field trips through the body or out in space.

There were a number of other unusual features about Janie. Born with club feet and without growth hormone, she received injections of Protropin six days a week. Late to sit up by herself (age two) and to walk (age four), she was quite bright. Yet she suffered some kind of mental block. When faced with homework, Janie complained, “I can’t do it. It’s too hard. I need help.” Placed in a special education class because of her behavioral problems and social inappropriateness, Janie had a habit of either pinching or shying away from her friends. Unfortunately, this behavior resulted in her having no friends at all. Janie was fascinated by maps—any kind of map—and even requested a “Thomas Guide” for Christmas rather than toys or dolls.

Janie was insistent on her mother’s companionship and assistance no matter what she did—so much so that her mother described the two of them as Siamese twins. Bathing was a task Janie categorically refused to engage in on her own. Her mom had to stay just outside the door, coaxing her. Janie even banged her head on the door when her mother had to go to the bathroom.

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